Rewriting life

This month has been monumental for me in terms of personal growth. Sometimes when you feel pain, either physically, emotionally or spiritually, your coping strategy is often to put a lid on it, cover it up, repress it in the hope that if you don’t acknowledge it will hopefully go away.

The mind is very powerful if you have a traumatic moment in your life, it can cover it over so much, that you are not sure if it ever happened. However the body can only take so much of keeping these feelings, emotion and pain locked in. Then what! Your body starts to let you know enough is enough, pain. When you have pain, in particular chronic pain, you get used to living with it, then when you feel unwell, you put it down to your chronic pain condition, in my case Fibromyalgia.

My feet have been very painful for months now and I keep saying, I won’t go to the doctor as I know what it is. Only the pain got unbearable.
I gave myself Reiki healing and also used sound therapy with the use of a tuning fork over the pain. There is definitely something going on there, when I dowsed my feet with my rose quartz pendulum it went mad, sweeping in a massive arc and after I used the tuning fork on the area and again dowsed the painful area the pendulum remained completely still. What’s that all about!

So I decided to visit the surgery to discover that I had plantar fasciitis. The wonderful doctor nearly sent me through the roof when he examined my foot, oh the pain. As you know I do not take any form of pain relief for my condition, so when the doctor suggested Tramadol I sat aghast in his room. Hell no! I am not going down that route again, he suggested anti-inflammatory pain killers and again I declined. I want to treat this holistically, I know that I can and it works, I just needed confirmation that this was not Fibro and something else.

Gentle exercise, rest used together with healing therapies I believe is the key to healing the body. This may seem a bit way out to most people, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. You may feel that it does not work for you, just don’t try it once, give it a go a couple of times, give your body a chance to ‘rewrite its pain pathways’.

I was practicing yoga a couple of weeks ago, there was only two of us in the class plus my Yoga teacher, we were practicing Yin yoga, using props for support to hold poses to a longer length of time. (Give it a go it’s great!) Whilst I had my hips supported on a bolster, trauma release excersies (TRE) kicked in and my body started to rock side to side; so much that I actually fell off the bolster, I was laughing so much. I just let it happen, I know that, it is my body ‘rewriting life’, undoing all the trauma and stress that I have had over my 46 years on this planet. I do not try to repress it, it is just rewriting my journey. I don’t have to re-live the feelings and emotions, the gentle movement as my body shakes and sways is so safe and very comforting and it’s doing its thing.

Back to school ….I faced my fears from over 30 years ago and returned to school. A place that has held so many painful memories. The morning dawned and whilst I ate breakfast at the hotel, I felt physically sick, just like I did when I had to go to school all those years ago, I sat with my herbal tea, as my body gently tremored, I knew that this was a very important part of my healing journey.

As soon as I arrived back at school, the smell in the corridors overwhelmed me, the place seemed so much smaller than I remember and quite a lot of the class rooms had changed in their use. It wasn’t until I stood outside a classroom, that I realised that I had a suppressed memory, it returned when our then teacher had displayed behaviour that is definitely not acceptable these days, those of us that had him for lessons, were able to talk about how awful it was, he has since died; so no legal action would be taken against him.

This was a place, where I was bullied for 7 years by a group of girls calling themselves the hard gang who were in my class. Hopefully they will have developed into kind and loving human beings and if they have their own children, they are not bullying or being bullied themselves. I strongly believe in Karma and the power of the universe, what you give out comes back to you!

My dad told me ‘to stand up for myself, it’s part of life, it makes you stronger’. Yes, it does that, but it also makes you different. It makes making friends challenging, it also makes you resilient to life, but deep down there is a small part of your soul that asks; Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

Well, the real answer is; I dared to be different, to stand out from the crowd, not to conform to what was expected. Does that make you a target? Probably, but I do not care anymore, I am the stronger person. I am rewriting life.

I will not change so people will like me.                                                                                         I will be myself and the right people will love the real me.”

 

Change your Energy – last months post

The Power of TRE – if you want to know more about Trauma Release Excersies

This is me….. – about me

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‘To Ease my Dis……’

When you stop!   Suddenly you notice your own breath, you hear the sound of silence and you smell the scent that evokes a feeling, a memory. Life is so very fragile, yet we race around filling our lives with things, possessions, envy and that imbalance can cause disharmony of the mind, body and soul maybe leading to disease.

“An illness that affects a person, animal, or plant : a condition that prevents the body or mind from working normally.”

So you seek medical intervention and get a diagnosis. A label. Then what? You are maybe prescribed drugs to ‘ease your dis’.

I want more; I want to feel well, I want my life back, I want my mind body and soul to be in harmony with each other. We are all energy and maybe we need to use that energy to heal ourselves, rather than fight with life to become somebody that we think we should be.
I am still on this massive journey of self-discovery and Holistic healing, and one of things I have learnt is, if you don’t keep at it, the dis-ease starts to creep back in.

This summer if you can call it that, has proved to me that in order to feel well, I need to continue with the various therapies I practice. I slipped back into a mind-set of copy and paste, I spent almost a week of my summer break in bed or on the sofa feeling tired and burnt out and lacking motivation, it was easier to sleep that get up and drag my weary body for a walk with the dog. I blamed the weather!!

I had just returned from a fantastic 2 week holiday in the sun to a cold, wet, and grey British August. The weather may have had an impact on my Fibromyalgia symptoms raising their ugly head and giving me a side swipe, but actually I now believe it was the lack of yoga practice, Reiki, TRE and gong that was my problem. I had lost my mojo.

I wallowed in self-pity for a week, feeling sorry for myself. I had finally stopped working and racing around filling my life and time with things, possessions and most certainly envy. Did I feel better, Hell No! My toe bones hurt when I got out of bed in the morning, I have had a constant pain in my foot for weeks, this pain was then followed by my knees then my wrists and fingers, oh the joy of living with chronic pain. I started to feel envious of the people around me, who just don’t get what it feels like when your body is not at ease with your mind. Then along came a local Holistic Festival. The night before I was debating if I would go or not, too much effort!

Well I went; I am so glad I did, I saw a lot of friends and like-minded people from the Holistic world, it was just what I needed to kick myself back into the land of ‘you can start to heal yourself’.
I attended a few workshops bringing down my higher Chakras, a wonderful Gong Bath with Sally and learning to use a tuning fork.  Having been to the tuning fork workshop, I decided I needed to buy an OM tuning fork for myself. This is a therapy that I could use at home very easily between gong baths. I was already starting to feel better for having a gong bath, so using tuning forks had to be a good thing too, as it uses sound vibration to help heal the body.

Luckily for me Sally sells them, so I did not have to go home and look online, I bought one from her, in a beautiful purple bag with a mallet, as soon as I got home that evening I tried it out, the dog loved it and also my husband, who is definitely not into all this ‘hippy’ stuff, he asked me to use it on him as he has had some muscle pain in his shoulder. He has informed me that it is feeling better, but claims it was probably the couple of rounds of golf he played. I think I know otherwise!!!

A week later and I am feeling so much better, I am using the tuning fork on a daily basis, giving myself Reiki, carrying out my TRE (trauma release exercises) and Virginia, as soon as I have finished writing my blog, I will roll out my yoga mat and practice at home.

I know that if I practice all the therapies I use regularly, I will be able to ‘ease the dis’ of my mind body and soul.
Remembering to enjoy the moment, absorb the sights, sounds, smells and feelings of this wonderful journey. Namaste xx

 

If you would like to read my previous blogs here they all are, if you have any questions or would like more information, please Contact me.

Gonging It!

Fibro or Flu?

The Power of TRE

The Dawn of a New Day

I am going to enjoy this!

The Power of saying NO

Please clink on the following links if you wish to find out more information on the Holistic Therapies I Blog about.

Sally Free – Tuning Forks  

Virginia Compton – Yoga

Jo Hamilton – TRE

The Power of saying NO

I had just returned from a whistle-stop trip to Italy, which I knew would be a challenge as traveling and in particular flying can be tiring, at the best of times, but with a fibro body, you need to be able to pace yourself and avoid stress.
In the past I have been a very nervous flier often gripping the seat or arm of the adjacent passenger. Lucky for them, I have been managing my stress and fear, I managed to remain calm even when we hit some turbulence on the way home, it was all good, I practiced my yoga breath and used it as a form of mediation, at one point I thought we had already landed when the undercarriage went down. TRE (trauma release exercises) have definitely contributed to my body’s ability to reduce the stress meaning, no pain.

On my return home, I did not feel well enough to go out for a walk with my husband and the dog. I knew I needed to sleep. I was not feeling any pain, just extreme tiredness and I knew going for a walk would make me feel worse. So Dog and husband went for a walk without me, I slept. I felt better. Result, all I had to do was say ‘No’ there was not an explanation required.

‘No’ is a complete sentence, it does not require a justification. It is the most empowering sentence that you can ever use. At first you feel guilty for saying it and try to explain your rationale. It’s even harder with friends and family, they give you a look, you then end up backing down, and agreeing to something that you don’t want to do, that can often impact your mind, body and spirit.

The result that this can have on your health can be catastrophic. I have learnt from experience, it is not easy to say ‘No’, but once you start it does get easier.

I have always been quite easy going and happy to go along with things, and even though I might not want to do something, rather than say so, I have gone along with it for fear of upsetting anyone, and in the process made myself feel ill and then complained that I wish I hadn’t done it.

Living with a chronic pain condition requires you to pace yourself……….easier said than done, particularly when you are having a good time and feel better. In the early days of my diagnoses, I did not think it possible that I would ever have good days and feel well. If I wanted to something special, like going for a night out, I knew that I would have to weigh up the fact that I would feel really poorly for 3 or 4 days after the night out. It was always worth it, but then sometimes you have a really good day and do more as you feel well and then the next day you have a relapse.
I thought I was invincible and everyone kept telling me to pace myself, I thought I knew best, then burn out!

A couple of years ago, I was walking with a stick, sometimes I didn’t need it, on the days when I had paced myself. They were good days. Then I would do a bit more than I should have done, the pacing went out of the window and the stick started to became an indication of a good or bad day. As Fibro is a hidden illness, on stick days friends, family and colleagues could tell it was a bad day. However on good days, because I didn’t have my stick, some people got the impression I was well. They did not realise the effort that I had gone to, to walk without a stick.

It still takes a lot of determination and I still have to make sacrifices and battle with my body to ensure that I use effective pacing, to stay pain and medication free. Learning to stay ‘NO’ has been the biggest tool in my Holistic healing journey, sometimes it has been really hard and difficult, not to justify why I am saying No.

I like Bruce Campbell’s description of The Energy Envelope

To use the idea of the energy envelope, think of your situation as having three elements. The first is your available energy. This is the energy you have to accomplish things. It is limited and is replenished by rest and food. The second is your expended energy, the energy you lose through physical, mental and emotional exertion.

The third is your symptoms, fatigue, brain fog, pain, and so on. In this view, if you expend more energy than you have available, you will intensify your symptoms. This is called living outside the energy envelope. An alternative is living inside the energy envelope.

If you keep your expended energy within the limits of your available energy, you have a chance to reduce symptoms, and over time may be able to expand your limits.

Life is not a rehearsal, this is it! Why waste your time doing something you really don’t want to do. Take control of your life. Learn to say NO and start living inside Your Energy Envelope.

Recently everyone has been telling me I look so well; I feel amazing but it takes a lot of effort and I continue to attend my weekly yoga practice, my monthly gong baths, I fill my life with people who make me laugh and smile and avoid the energy vampires (those people who leave me feeling worn out, as they feed off my energy to make themselves feel better). Sometimes you need to be selfish if you want to get your life back.

Try saying NO, it could really be the starting point to your own empowerment.