It is so worth it…….

Living with pain does not mean I need to stop doing the things I have always enjoyed doing, but it makes me stop and consider the impact it will have on my body, we all need to take care of ourselves and love who we are. Life is very precious, as is our health; having poor health makes it more challenging but not impossible to live the life that the heart and soul desires.

This month has been interesting with the hot weather, I have noticed that my Chronic Fatigue heightened and I have spent some weeks just wanting to sleep during the day, I awake in the morning feeling unrefreshed and this is when I know the pain will start to niggle its way into my joints, starting with knees, elbows and feet. Some mornings getting out of bed causes such severe pain in my toe joints that I hobble around until, the pain gradually subsides. What possibly didn’t help was dancing until the early hours either around a camp fire or more recently jumping up and down at a concert; However, on both occasions it was so worth it!!!

At the end of June, I went to a gathering of like-minded souls in the heart of the Dorset countryside at Gaunts House, the reason; to Celebrate life and being alive, a retreat and gathering between the worlds, what a fantastic way to empower and rediscover myself. I haven’t lost me, but over the past 5 years facing the challenge of living with chronic pain, something changed; I became a person who I hardly recognised, someone old beyond their time, a someone who ends up not doing things as they feel too tired or their joint pain puts heed to their activities. I look well, but hidden beneath my shell, is a body that sometimes just lets me down. With Fibromyalgia, pain changes and moves around the body without warning, there is no set pattern with the disease, it effects those living with the condition differently and we all have our own unique symptoms, there is no cure or control over this, making it more difficult to get on with life. Fighting any illness daily, leaves you feeling exhausted in mind, body and spirit, which is why I explore all types of holistic therapy to enhance my wellbeing.

I have previously experienced a workshop run by Christa Mackinnon in Shamanic Journeying, accompanied by my friend Sally Free who is a Gong practitioner, at Gaunts they were joined by Heike Jenkins who runs drum and music circles and provided us with canvas and glitter for our amazing art work at the weekend. The three of them, facilitated the most wonderful weekend I have ever had the chance to participate in. I was joined by a number of like minded souls, some camping and others like myself decided to have accommodation which was in the old stable block, or the main house. It was an incredibly hot, sunny weekend but the outdoor pool, provided a cool refreshing pastime should anyone wish to take a dip and many did.
The food at Gaunts was vegetarian and prepared by an amazing group of volunteers, the main house still maintains its grandeur of a family home, the tranquil grounds surrounding it provided plenty of space for quite reflection, walking, journal writing and just being . Yani Vark took the most beautiful photos that captured the real essence of the gathering.

Celebrating Life was a wonderful weekend of empowerment, connecting with nature using gongs, music medicine, shamanic journeying and working with the medicine wheel. The weekend was filled with activities, but with space to take time to reflect on being in the moment. After the opening ceremony on the Friday night, it was followed with the Gongs played by Sally which encouraged a deep restful sleep for me.

Saturday morning dawned with the promise of wonderful experiences to come and I was not disappointed. We started with a gong bath, followed by music medicine ran by Heiki, I picked a shaker that made me feel like I was in the ocean, it moved from side to side in a gentle rhythmic sound of the ages. Making me smile. This then continued into shamanic journeying with Christa, during which I had a sense of freedom and memories of my childhood playing in the fields, no sense of danger and a great feeling of the love I have for life. I could feel tingling in my legs and the right-hand side of my body, the side that the pain tends to dwell in. I felt a strong desire to heal and be healed.
After lunch we danced and danced and danced….. and then walked the labyrinth whilst continuing to drum. The rest of the afternoon involved glitter and glue and sticking things on to some beautifully prepared canvases, you can never have enough glitter in your life. Creating art work is very powerful and encourages the brain to switch off from over analysing things and to just be in the moment. The remainder of the afternoon was to collect bunches in preparation for the fire ceremony later that evening. I went off in search of wild flowers and herbs similar to the bunches I used to make as a child with my mum and it was on this forage that I came across the old walled garden of Gaunts, where just the gentle humming of the bees and the stillness of nature was a joy to immerse myself in.

After dinner I took a stroll down the lane to visit the Starhenge cosmic stone circle, there is something very magical around stones and circles and only wish that I had taken my dowsing rods with me.
The fire was lit later that evening and we all sat around it with our drums and collected bunches, I felt a deep connection to our forebears as I placed my flower and herb bundle in the fire and watched the rosemary scented smoke rise to the sky. The ceremony was closed down and then as the fire continued to burn and the night sky darken and so the dancing began.

Modern society has changed our being and it was here at Gaunts house dancing around the fire that it dawned on me, that there is something very powerful about dancing around a camp fire, primitive, soul enhancing, I felt a huge sense of joy connecting with the fire, dancing on the earth in bare feet. It was here I reconnected with myself. It was in the early hours of the morning as the fire died down that I found myself heading off to bed, with dirty feet covered in ash, but a heart and soul full of joy and the most amazing feeling of being alive, really alive. My body ached but I knew the adrenaline pumping around my body would sustain me for a few days within the state of euphoria.

I slept well, maybe from exhaustion but woke feeling refreshed, Sunday was started with Heike’s drumming circle, music is very powerful it aids healing for mind, body and spirit, following this with one of Sally’s gong baths, Christa explained how to worked with the medicine wheel, I found this ancient form of meditation to confirm; I believe I am me, being true to myself, can help me heal. I have always had faith that this time of suffering with pain will pass, to be free from all that holds me back, to love life and live.

Following lunch the weekend came to a close with a drumming circle and closing ceremony. I came home from the weekend feeling so amazing, I knew that I would be tired but I was so high on life, sometimes it is really important for me to weigh up the consequences of enjoying myself and feeling alive or giving in to the pain that ravages through me. Fibro has taken my body, but I refuse to let it take my soul and spirit.

Sometimes you really have to embrace the opportunities that come your way; Celebrate life and being alive. Believe me it is always, so worth it.

www.christamackinnon.com

www.heikedrumshare.com

www.soundsforthesoul.co.uk

www.gauntshouse.com

 

 

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The Journey Continues

As part of my holistic journey I have found sound therapy to be beneficial to the management of my chronic pain caused by Fibromyalgia, this sound has taken the form of gong, tuning forks, crystal bowls and drumming whilst also practicing yoga, Reiki and more recently joining a Zumba class. I would not have believed that I would have been able to participate in a dance fitness activity following my diagnosis in 2014, when I was walking with the aid of a stick. I have always maintained that I will keep on fighting this, exploring activities that I feel will benefit in assisting my body to heal itself. I believe that a lot of my healing has been a reaction to the sound and rhythm allowing the very cells of my body to absorb and be agitated, bringing them to life; it makes me smile, I feel happy and with that, energy seems to flow and the pain melts into the background.

I have always been interested in how our ancestors dealt with health conditions using herbs and natural therapies to alleviate pain and health conditions often administered by the wise elders of the indigenous groups around the world. Something that I feel, we have lost in our modern society of technology, stress and burn out.
This has led me on to the path of Shamanism, learning to feel the connection between nature, mother earth and my whole being. Rhythmic drum healing is a very ancient therapy that has been practiced for thousands of years by many cultures to promote wellbeing and healing using the natural law of resonance to restore the vibrational integration between mind, body and spirit.

I could not believe my luck when I was offered the opportunity to birth (make) my own Shamanic Drum in a one day bespoke workshop which was held locally.
Prior to the day we were asked to source a piece of wood to use as a beater, so during the storms and following the blizzards a couple of months ago, I wandered along the seashore and found a beautiful piece of drift wood, which I felt was perfect for my drum.
I attended the workshop with a mix of excitement and apprehension, after being so poorly at the start of this year with a chest infection and chronic fatigue, I knew that birthing a drum was going to be very special. I would be creating this wonderful tool for healing and it would be taking place on the full moon.

There were five of us attending the workshop, our first task was to select our 16 inch rounds of wood than had been handcrafted to form the frame for the drum.
It’s really strange when you sit and think about making a shamanic drum for yourself, I really wanted to feel that I was in touch with my ancient ancestors, the night prior I had not had the best of nights sleep and had been very restless so arrive feeling a bit jaded.
We were invited to select our deer skins that were outside in five buckets, Phil had had spent a lot of time in the days prior, preparing them for our use. He explained they were all different sizes. I selected the last reamaing bucket, this turned out to be the smallest skin.
At first I felt I little bit of disappointment, but then realisation that envy is something that I need to work with, I was starting to discover that my little deer was going to teach me some very valuable lessons in life. We started to connect with our drum, by some shamanic journeying which is similar to a deep mediation whilst a drum beat is played, we did this at various stages throughout the workshop.
After cutting out the circle to make the drum from the skin, we were asked to make the umbilical cord to lace it all together, from the same piece of skin. There was a concern that I would need to use an additional skin as my hide was quite small. However I ended up with about so much cord, I had a lot left over after I had laced it, my second lesson from my little deer, just because something is small, it does not mean that it cannot generate a bountiful supply.

Later we following the Shamanic tradition walking in single file, stepping in each other’s footsteps, while Alex drummed for us, making our way into the woods. We came to a large tree and then took it in turns to test the strength of our umbilical cord, which we had taken with us. We were asked to lean back and take the strain of the cord to see where it breaks, having completed that ritual, we returned to lace our drums.
This was the most challenging part of the process, I discovered you need a lot of strength to lace the back, to ensure the face is kept taught. I think this was the time when I felt most connected to the process and started referring to the drum as her, I don’t know how or why, I just knew. After a fair bit of effort and some help from Phil I finally birthed my drum.

I have been taught that great patience is required both during the making process and the need to be allowed to completely dry before being played, each day I kept going to look at the change in the colour on her face and eager to hear her first sound. Her markings are similar to looking at the moon, I see pure beauty; the significance of birthing my drum on a full moon is being able to use the strong energy as a very positive opportunity and illumination to the world.

Two weeks later, on the new moon when an energy portal is opened up to bring in your good intention and manifest healing energy, I knew it was time to hear her play. The sound that she gives out is so very special, I feel a very deep connection to nature, to my ancient ancestors and also to the spirit of the deer coming through the drum.

Earlier this week, after a particular challenging day, I picked up my drum, sat out in the garden in the evening sunlight and quietly played, letting the gentle rhythmic beats flow through my body, quieting my mind and bringing loving healing energy to my soul. I feel truly blessed, and so the journey continues……..

 

If you would like to know more ~

About birthing your own drum please contact  Phil Rowe Drums

About Sound Healing Sally Free ~ Sound Therapist

 

 

 

Dance to your own rhythm

This is me………………………………I am starting to emerge from wherever it is, that I have been lying dormant, waiting for this moment.

Life has been a bit of a struggle the last couple of months and I been battling with my health, not necessarily Fibromyalgia, but a lot of chronic fatigue and issues with coughing and the infection in my lung. Having had all the tests and the medical profession finding nothing to report, I had a bit of a déjà vu moment, in 2014 the day that I got my Fibro diagnosis, the life changing label. Only this time it was different. Nothing to report, no diagnosis, no further treatment. I was going to have to find my own way out through this again… I still had the cough, I still had the exhaustion and I still wanted to feel well again.

Having not been to a yoga class for 5 weeks, I decided now was the time to try to find a different sort of yoga, having been practicing a similar type of yoga since my fibro diagnosis, I wanted a more dynamic class, but one where I could still do my own thing, if all became too much.

Well I found it and the venue has a heated floor as well, luxury. It looks out onto the lush green valley side and whilst practicing you have the sound of nature; the screech of a buzzard, the chatter of nesting birds and a small brook babbling away. The class is so different from any other yoga I have taken part in, it is more active with options given for each pose. The session starts with mediation and breathing, which flows on into and through the practice. At the end of the class I feel more energetic, grounded and at peace with my body, mind and soul.

With my new found energy, I also decided I wanted to try out a new fitness class, I’m not a gym bunny and the ideal opportunity arose with a Zumba class. I went to the first session before I had my chest infection, and then unable to attend due to lack of breath for some weeks, I have now returned and I love it.

The fantastic movement that Zumba allows, even for those suffering from chronic pain is that you do what you can and what you want, within your own range of mobility. Even my lack of coordination doesn’t matter, my feet are often going the wrong way, but who cares there is no one watching; well at least I hope not! Apologies to those lovely ladies who end up behind me.
I think I shocked a few people at first, when they heard I had been to a Zumba class, “that’s fast going isn’t it?”, “you be careful” and “wow that’s amazing”. Yes it is amazing, and no matter how young or old you are, or feel, you are given a warm welcome and there are no judgements, your body joins into the rhythm of the music and it becomes contagious. After the class a few of us may even head to a local hostelry to replace our lost fluids!

I gradually started to feel better, the more I stretched and exercised my lungs, through walking, yoga, Zumba and a bit of light digging in the garden, the more the coughing ceased, my lungs felt more open and the tiredness began to evaporate. I even noticed that I danced across the lawn when the sun was out last week! I have started to feel more alive, energised and ready to absorb the new wonders that are awaiting me whilst I continue on this magical journey of self-healing, soul expansion and enlightenment.

I believe, if you really want to do something and improve your quality of your life, you just need to give it ago, do it your way. Listen to your own body, let your breath be your guide in dancing to your own rhythm, do what is right for you.

‘Dance like nobody’s watching.
If you sense they are, let them make eye contact and smile, show them that your soul is free.’

 

Want to find out more, please click on the links below

Yoga Loveliness                    Zumba – Shake it Fitness Devon

 

My recent blogs

Behind the Mask

The Crystal Healing Bed

 

 

Behind the Mask

I’ve been really struggling this month, pretending to the outside world that all is well. I am not struggling with chronic pain, but I am struggling with my health. When suffering with Fibromyalgia it can mask other things, so when I feel a bit unwell, I put it down to Fibro and dismiss it. This has resulted in yet another battle I am fighting against ‘holistic versus modern medicine’.

I had another session on the Crystal Healing Bed at Lupton this month, I think they forgot about me so I was on a bit longer than usual and although I did cough a few times, I was left feeling very invigorated with a zest for life. So much so that I even gave a new dance fitness class a go, and discovered the joys of Zumba, I loved it. Knowing I needed to pace myself after completing a vigorous form of exercise, I decided to give my weekly yoga practice a miss. I felt good the following day, apart from an annoying cough that I have had since October.

Towards the end of the week, I was finding myself wheezier and the cough keeping me awake at night. So I made that call to the doctor, I even started apologising for calling them and said I feel a bit of a fraud, as I don’t really feel ill, I just have this annoying cough and its causing some pain when I take a breath in. Turns out the doctor I saw thought I had pleurisy, so given antibiotics to take and rest.
Not one to take antibiotics, I was anxious as to how they were going to impact on my body. I felt a whole lot worse, I started to actually feel and believe I was ill. The mind is so very powerful.
I felt sorry for myself and lying around resting, meant not doing anything. I should have gone to have my monthly gong bath, but felt too unwell as my cough seemed to have become worse since visiting the doctor.

A week later, I still had the cough so returned to the doctor, this time sent for a chest x-ray and given a short course of steroids. Expecting the steroids to kick in and the cough to ease, I couldn’t have expected the reaction I had, on the first day of taking them; I thought my blood was boiling, I had a massive pulse in my neck and could feel the blood pumping down into my legs. I took to my yoga bolster, and put my legs up in the air in a supported shoulder stand and gave my body some long gentle breaths until I felt calm and grounded again.

Having had antibiotics, steroids a chest x-ray that shows nothing sinister. The doctor seems to be at a loss, so I’m now waiting to have some blood taken. In the meantime I have been battling with fighting this holistically and the intervention of modern medicine.

I went for healing this week and whilst receiving my treatment, the healer working with me started to cough, I however did not for the whole session I lay there and at the end I felt a lot lighter, my energy had shifted, my wheezing eased.

I am a strong believer that we all have the ability to heal ourselves, but when your energy levels are so low, it ok to ask for help. That help can come in the form of holistic therapy healing or with medical intervention.
Thinking back, our ancestors must have asked for help and advice and would maybe have visited the local shaman or wise person, who using their skills and knowledge would have prescribed a medicine made from natural ingredients or a ritual to carry out to rid you of your disease.

I think it is about balance, the battle I have going on is of my own making.  It is important for me to live by the values that are important to me and my lifestyle. I don’t pretend to be someone who is pure and perfect and living this wonderful holistic dream. This is part of my journey and I have free will to make choices about how I treat my health. If I decide that modern medicine and holistic therapy can work together to help heal my body; then so be it…….

“Remove the mask, and be that magical, beautiful, genuine, and not quite perfect person, you really are”

 

 

More Information about Gong Baths

More information about Lupton House Healing

 

The Crystal Healing Bed

This month has been a struggle, I suffered from a massive flare up, which caused all my joints to burn and the excruciating pain meant that I could not sleep at night, even the duvet touching me made me cry with the pain. I knew this was not just a pain flare up but was caused by a virus probably flu that meant my body was unable to fight it. I ended up taking some pain relief if only just to be able to function as a human being. I rested and tried to remain focused on healing myself slowly using self-reiki treatments, honey, lemon and ginger drinks, I even made myself a fresh turmeric and puy lentil soup to ease the inflammation (if using fresh turmeric remember to put on protective gloves, I didn’t and ended up with bright yellow fingers. Not a great look!) .

Having rested for week, I started to feel better and then last Tuesday took myself off to Lupton House, Brixham to the healing cafe for some much needed me time. It was while I was waiting for healing treatment that I enquired about the Crystal Therapy bed and was told that is was available now and would I like to have a treatment. I agreed, having never experienced this type of therapy before I had absolutely no idea what to expect.

I was shown to a room upstairs above the crystal shop and adjacent to the Sanctuary, it contained a bed with a stand above it with the crystals pointing down. There are 7 crystals that each have a coloured laser light relating to each of the Chakras, I was invited to remove my footwear, lie down covered with a blanket on a really comfortable bed with an eye mask, some candles were lit and some beautiful music put on to accompany me on my healing journey and I was left alone.

I lay there not sure what was going to happen and as I started to relax I felt very calm and serene and experienced lots of, as I can only describe; shards of rainbow light. I thought that there must be something like a crystal hanging in the window causing this effect, so I lifted my eye mask and looked about the room, nothing, but still the rainbow lights glistened in my vision. So I shut my eyes and went with it. At one point I felt as if my forehead was being gently massaged, it was so reassuring that I did not feel the need to take a peek. Knowing that I was alone, tucked up and very comfortable.

As I lay there for the whole treatment I did not cough once, having been so poorly the week prior this was a truly a blessing. I’m not sure if I stayed awake or dozed, but I knew I was experiencing something very special and profound I could almost describe it as celestial.

At the end of the session I was left to collect myself together and make my way downstairs. I found it difficult to put into words how I felt, it was very special and very powerful.

Since my treatment, I have been feeling much better and straight afterwards I was surprisingly tired but had lots of energy about me. So I went home and rested and it has taken me some time to be able to put into words how I felt, I’m still not sure how to describe the treatment. So maybe give it ago for yourself.

Whatever treatment I try, it is about healing me, and is my journey. Sometimes I meet people who have read my blog and then go onto to try a treatment for themselves and they tell me it hasn’t work for them. I have found it is best to try therapies a number of times, to see if it makes a difference. I believe our own energy systems resonate differently to various stimuli and it takes a while for our bodies to adjust to a new treatment or therapy. The propose of my blog is to share with you what I am doing to help deal with a chronic pain condition. What works for me, may not be for you, but that’s ok. We are all individuals, all on our own healing journeys and using our energy to help heal our body, mind and soul.

I would never have believed that 5 years ago my life would be so dramatically different. I had not even heard of a Crystal Therapy bed let alone considered having a treatment. This part of my journey, giving my body the opportunity and space to heal itself would not have been possible if I had remained blinkered with conventional medicine methods.

Lupton is truly a very magical place and I always feel like I am cosseted in a big universal hug as I make my way down the tree-lined driveway, leaving the chaos that is modern life behind. Maybe I will see you there too?

 

To find out more about Lupton

My Quest for Healing

Those of you that follow my monthly blog, will know I use various therapies to support my healing from a chronic pain condition called Fibromyalgia. I think it important to raise awareness of this and other chronic pain condition, I do not wish my blog to become a source of me feeling sorry for myself, I do not want to give this pain more energy than it already takes from me. So whilst I may not write about, how I feel tackling this condition on a daily basis, I am still fighting the battle and I am slowly winning. Just because I look well and don’t complain about the pain I am experiencing, does not mean that it is not happening.

Today I went for healing at Lupton House and after a short twenty minutes session for a minimum donation of £3. I feel amazing. I have been going to healing since I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I went weekly and it helped heal my mind, body and spirit. When I attended my first healing session, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. After completing some paperwork, I was led into a beautiful, tranquil and peaceful room with therapy beds set up with different coloured covers and warm cosy blankets, you choose the bed that you are drawn to, obviously not the one with other people on receiving their treatment! You lie down fully clothed just removing your shoes and you can have a blanket placed over you, whilst you close your eyes, relax and drift off somewhere nice.

The healers all work differently, some hands on, some hand off, some a mixture of both. Each time I receive healing it is always different, sometimes their hands feel warm, sometimes they feel cold, more often than not I see wonderful colours mainly purple and other times I see nothing at all, but feel energy pulsing through my body and a serene calmness envelops me like a hug.

The whole healing journey led me to my attunement for 1st and 2nd degree reiki which I use for healing on myself and the dog on a regular basis; however receiving the energy that is channelled through another healer is very powerful and a truly wonderful experience.

Healing as a Therapy seems to have lost is dark, mystical status and is more widely accepted as a Holistic form of healing, it does not take the place of conventional medicine but is often used alongside it to treat various conditions. The great thing is you don’t need to believe in any religion to experience this great therapy.

I had not been to Lupton since October last year, so for me it was lovely to be able to access the beautiful and tranquil space. This week for me, is about self- nurturing and finding my authentic self, there is the super blue blood moon eclipse, tomorrow 31st January and what better opportunity to remove the obstacles in my path, clear my throat chakra where I have been experiencing blockages, holding back and not saying the things that need to be said. The moon energy this month is about manifesting love and healing old wounds and with it being the start of the New Year, what better way than to purge the old way of life; start a new chapter and move on.

To assist in this moving on process, I have been given a new yoga teacher, taking the class that I have been attending for the past 4 years, I have never felt comfortable with change, but it is important to embrace it. When you create space, it can filled with wonderful experiences and kindred souls, if you allow it to.

To integrate all this change, movement and growth, a fantastic gong bath to look forward to on Friday evening.

I feel very blessed to have a wonderful family, supportive friends and like minded kindred spirits in my life. Thank you for helping me to stay strong when my body has been weak. I love you and value your presence whilst you accompany me, fighting chronic pain xx

 

 

The little studio with the big heart  –  The Studio Tqy for timetable & events

Gong Baths ~ Sally free Sounds for the soul

www.discoverlupton.com    Drop in healing Tuesdays 12-3 and 7-9

Embrace Change

A satisfied life is better than a successful life, because our success is measured by         others. But our satisfaction is measured by our own heart, mind and soul.”

When we meet someone for the first time, we often greet each other with our name, then what?  What do you do? It is then that you can be given a label. As humans we seem to have this inquisitive nature as to what another persons does, maybe to measure how successful they are; or to discover if they have anything in common with them. Why do we feel the need to have to be label someone?

All through life we are striving to become; to achieve the ultimate goal; but at what cost? So that we can be successful, so that we can be somebody, so that we can be given a label.

When you suffer from chronic pain, it can take over your life so much that it becomes who you are and starts to define you, but only if you let it! You have a choice, to give in to it and let it take you or to stand up and fight, as if your life depends on it. It is not easy.

Four years ago, I was ready to give in and let it take me, which it did for 6 months of my life. I was given a diagnoses, a label and then it started to define who I was and who I became.

You can change your label and how others see you, start by feeling satisfied with all the positive things you have in your life. From there you can begin to heal your body, mind and soul, start to believe and have hope that things do and will change.

I have spent the past 12 month’s blogging about various holistic therapies and practices that I have experienced, as part of my healing journey. I am not announcing that I am cured, but the change I feel in my health is noticeable, I am having less flair ups, I still suffer from pain and getting up each day is a battle, a battle that I fight every day and I will win, it about listening to my body and when I’m feeling tired taking a quick power nap.

My hips and knees often remind me that they are still attached to me with a deep seated pain inside the joint, I know that with some gentle yoga stretches I can encourage that heat to disperse taking with it the pain. Some yoga sessions I find, I feel so exhausted that I just stop, lie down on the mat, cover myself with a blanket and take a rest. It’s ok to do that. Listening to the change that your body is asking you to do.

Yoga is not an endurance test to bend yourself into some strange posture, it is about gentle stretching for the mind, body and soul and I have found this to be of benefit to managing my pain condition. Finding understanding teachers is a bonus, and after 4 years of practice I now find that I walk taller and I’m a lot more bendy than I ever thought I could be. I still can’t touch my toes, that’s ok, I’ve got long legs and short arms!

As this year comes to an end, I embrace all that has changed as I continue on my healing journey; there are people that have touched my soul, made me stop and question who I am and who I want to be. There are acquaintances who I believe crossed into my karmic path for reasons that will someday be coming clearer. There are also those kindred spirits who consistently surround me with their love and support and to them I am eternally grateful.

I have ………love, laughter, peace and harmony in my heart, mind and soul and I know that I am truly satisfied. I will let you measure my success!

 

 

Rewriting life

This month has been monumental for me in terms of personal growth. Sometimes when you feel pain, either physically, emotionally or spiritually, your coping strategy is often to put a lid on it, cover it up, repress it in the hope that if you don’t acknowledge it will hopefully go away.

The mind is very powerful if you have a traumatic moment in your life, it can cover it over so much, that you are not sure if it ever happened. However the body can only take so much of keeping these feelings, emotion and pain locked in. Then what! Your body starts to let you know enough is enough, pain. When you have pain, in particular chronic pain, you get used to living with it, then when you feel unwell, you put it down to your chronic pain condition, in my case Fibromyalgia.

My feet have been very painful for months now and I keep saying, I won’t go to the doctor as I know what it is. Only the pain got unbearable.
I gave myself Reiki healing and also used sound therapy with the use of a tuning fork over the pain. There is definitely something going on there, when I dowsed my feet with my rose quartz pendulum it went mad, sweeping in a massive arc and after I used the tuning fork on the area and again dowsed the painful area the pendulum remained completely still. What’s that all about!

So I decided to visit the surgery to discover that I had plantar fasciitis. The wonderful doctor nearly sent me through the roof when he examined my foot, oh the pain. As you know I do not take any form of pain relief for my condition, so when the doctor suggested Tramadol I sat aghast in his room. Hell no! I am not going down that route again, he suggested anti-inflammatory pain killers and again I declined. I want to treat this holistically, I know that I can and it works, I just needed confirmation that this was not Fibro and something else.

Gentle exercise, rest used together with healing therapies I believe is the key to healing the body. This may seem a bit way out to most people, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. You may feel that it does not work for you, just don’t try it once, give it a go a couple of times, give your body a chance to ‘rewrite its pain pathways’.

I was practicing yoga a couple of weeks ago, there was only two of us in the class plus my Yoga teacher, we were practicing Yin yoga, using props for support to hold poses to a longer length of time. (Give it a go it’s great!) Whilst I had my hips supported on a bolster, trauma release excersies (TRE) kicked in and my body started to rock side to side; so much that I actually fell off the bolster, I was laughing so much. I just let it happen, I know that, it is my body ‘rewriting life’, undoing all the trauma and stress that I have had over my 46 years on this planet. I do not try to repress it, it is just rewriting my journey. I don’t have to re-live the feelings and emotions, the gentle movement as my body shakes and sways is so safe and very comforting and it’s doing its thing.

Back to school ….I faced my fears from over 30 years ago and returned to school. A place that has held so many painful memories. The morning dawned and whilst I ate breakfast at the hotel, I felt physically sick, just like I did when I had to go to school all those years ago, I sat with my herbal tea, as my body gently tremored, I knew that this was a very important part of my healing journey.

As soon as I arrived back at school, the smell in the corridors overwhelmed me, the place seemed so much smaller than I remember and quite a lot of the class rooms had changed in their use. It wasn’t until I stood outside a classroom, that I realised that I had a suppressed memory, it returned when our then teacher had displayed behaviour that is definitely not acceptable these days, those of us that had him for lessons, were able to talk about how awful it was, he has since died; so no legal action would be taken against him.

This was a place, where I was bullied for 7 years by a group of girls calling themselves the hard gang who were in my class. Hopefully they will have developed into kind and loving human beings and if they have their own children, they are not bullying or being bullied themselves. I strongly believe in Karma and the power of the universe, what you give out comes back to you!

My dad told me ‘to stand up for myself, it’s part of life, it makes you stronger’. Yes, it does that, but it also makes you different. It makes making friends challenging, it also makes you resilient to life, but deep down there is a small part of your soul that asks; Why? Why me? What did I do to deserve this?

Well, the real answer is; I dared to be different, to stand out from the crowd, not to conform to what was expected. Does that make you a target? Probably, but I do not care anymore, I am the stronger person. I am rewriting life.

I will not change so people will like me.                                                                                         I will be myself and the right people will love the real me.”

 

Change your Energy – last months post

The Power of TRE – if you want to know more about Trauma Release Excersies

This is me….. – about me

Change your Energy

Since my last Blog in August, so much has happened that September has almost passed me by, that’s the thing with Life, blink and you can miss it. None of us know how long we have on the earthly plain, there is something to be said ‘don’t put off until tomorrow, what you can achieve today’. You just don’t know what tomorrow may bring.

I thought I had got my pain under control, but oh no, my body had other ideas, at the beginning of September I returned back to work and felt I had gone back 3 years. The pain was so intense, I had almost forgotten what it was like to feel well. Just well; without pain, oh what joy.
I still refuse to fill my body with pain killers and try to work through the worst of it. At one point the pain was so bad I was in tears and at working sitting at my desk sobbing. Pull yourself together. I was struggling, I was at a low ebb, and everything seemed to be closing in on me. I spent the whole day hobbling around in pain, with my toes, ankles, knees, hips, elbows and wrists all screaming out with pain. Whilst trying to pretend all is well; Enough, I had had enough of pretending all is well, when I went to work the next day, rather than say I’m good when someone asked me how I was feeling, I told them it was not a good day and I was suffering. How cathartic that felt.
I have always tried to hide the pain I have been in, a couple of colleagues commented that they had never seen me cry, my husband tells me I’m the strong one! I don’t always want to be strong, I want to be honest about how I feel. It is all very well staying positive and battling on regardless. However, sometimes you need to say how you feel. Change can have a massive impact on how people see you and how you can empower yourself.

I recently attended an open day at the Yoga Studio and an Energy Medicine class. When I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I went to a talk Sue Mutlow gave on Energy Medicine and I was hooked, I started to go once a week to learn more about this amazing self-healing technique. I feel it is so important to share this valuable Holistic therapy. The way I can describe it; is as accessing your own energy system and healing your mind, body and soul, just what I am all about.

Donna Eden has researched and developed the exercise that Sue shares with us.
It works on the basis of tapping and massaging points on the body, often using a figure of 8 to increase your energy levels. Energy is the medicine that you can access and activate to start healing your own body. It is about creating a balance and harmony encouraging your energy to flow, it uses postures and exercise’s some include lying down, others energizing your body and also protecting your aura.
By carrying out specific exercises you can move the energy in your body to unblock areas where it may have become stuck, it works with meridians, chakras and energy pathways. It is fascinating and can make you feel energized and restore harmony in your body. I believe it sits alongside Chinese medicine and can be related to reflexology.
For me it is an effective form of pain management, but you don’t need to suffer from chronic pain, it can assist you to balance out the energy systems of your body on a daily basis, Sue often suggests carrying out some of the exercise whist standing in the queue in the supermarket, I have yet to give that ago!

Sue encourages you to carry out a daily energy routine that includes The Three Thumps- locating K27, the Thymus and Spleen points. This set of three exercises can jump start your energy system, helps focus the mind and corrects the energy from flowing backwards via your meridians. To help improve your coordination, vitality and healing by competing The Cross crawl. The Wayne Cooke posture helps you focus and aids concentration. The Crown pull opens the crown chakra to aid higher inspiration, assists in your memory, and stimulates blood to the brain.
It is a little bit like yoga, but different, most of the exercises can be adapted to suite your physical capabilities. You can get to know all about your triple warmer and the meridians that relate to the immune system and your fight or flight response.

I really enjoy all these exercises and once learnt you can include them as part of your daily life, I suggest that you go to a class with a qualified practitioner. When I feel a pain flare up starting, I start to change my energy, it gives me the opportunity to recharge my cells, we can become unbalanced and this can lead to disharmony in the body and as I wrote about in last month’s blog ‘easing your dis’.
Sue herself is inspirational and Eden energy medicine needs to be experienced. Like with all things, don’t just try it once and expect miraculous results, I believe you need to give any holistic therapy time, keep trying it, then if after a few sessions it doesn’t work for you, thats ok, but don’t give up after one session as you don’t feel any different. Your body needs time to adjust.

I am not sure what caused my pain flare up this time, I am not even going to give it my energy to start analyzing what, if or how it started.
Change can have a massive impact; I have never found embracing change easy, but I’m learning that change can be good. If you can alter your energy, the way you feel, think and are can make a difference and you can start on your own journey to heal yourself.

 

For more information please contact Sue Mutlow – Positive Steps for good energy

 

Links to previous blogs

‘To Ease my Dis……’

The Power of saying NO

I am going to enjoy this!

The Dawn of a New Day

The Power of TRE

Gonging It!

Fibro or Flu?

‘To Ease my Dis……’

When you stop!   Suddenly you notice your own breath, you hear the sound of silence and you smell the scent that evokes a feeling, a memory. Life is so very fragile, yet we race around filling our lives with things, possessions, envy and that imbalance can cause disharmony of the mind, body and soul maybe leading to disease.

“An illness that affects a person, animal, or plant : a condition that prevents the body or mind from working normally.”

So you seek medical intervention and get a diagnosis. A label. Then what? You are maybe prescribed drugs to ‘ease your dis’.

I want more; I want to feel well, I want my life back, I want my mind body and soul to be in harmony with each other. We are all energy and maybe we need to use that energy to heal ourselves, rather than fight with life to become somebody that we think we should be.
I am still on this massive journey of self-discovery and Holistic healing, and one of things I have learnt is, if you don’t keep at it, the dis-ease starts to creep back in.

This summer if you can call it that, has proved to me that in order to feel well, I need to continue with the various therapies I practice. I slipped back into a mind-set of copy and paste, I spent almost a week of my summer break in bed or on the sofa feeling tired and burnt out and lacking motivation, it was easier to sleep that get up and drag my weary body for a walk with the dog. I blamed the weather!!

I had just returned from a fantastic 2 week holiday in the sun to a cold, wet, and grey British August. The weather may have had an impact on my Fibromyalgia symptoms raising their ugly head and giving me a side swipe, but actually I now believe it was the lack of yoga practice, Reiki, TRE and gong that was my problem. I had lost my mojo.

I wallowed in self-pity for a week, feeling sorry for myself. I had finally stopped working and racing around filling my life and time with things, possessions and most certainly envy. Did I feel better, Hell No! My toe bones hurt when I got out of bed in the morning, I have had a constant pain in my foot for weeks, this pain was then followed by my knees then my wrists and fingers, oh the joy of living with chronic pain. I started to feel envious of the people around me, who just don’t get what it feels like when your body is not at ease with your mind. Then along came a local Holistic Festival. The night before I was debating if I would go or not, too much effort!

Well I went; I am so glad I did, I saw a lot of friends and like-minded people from the Holistic world, it was just what I needed to kick myself back into the land of ‘you can start to heal yourself’.
I attended a few workshops bringing down my higher Chakras, a wonderful Gong Bath with Sally and learning to use a tuning fork.  Having been to the tuning fork workshop, I decided I needed to buy an OM tuning fork for myself. This is a therapy that I could use at home very easily between gong baths. I was already starting to feel better for having a gong bath, so using tuning forks had to be a good thing too, as it uses sound vibration to help heal the body.

Luckily for me Sally sells them, so I did not have to go home and look online, I bought one from her, in a beautiful purple bag with a mallet, as soon as I got home that evening I tried it out, the dog loved it and also my husband, who is definitely not into all this ‘hippy’ stuff, he asked me to use it on him as he has had some muscle pain in his shoulder. He has informed me that it is feeling better, but claims it was probably the couple of rounds of golf he played. I think I know otherwise!!!

A week later and I am feeling so much better, I am using the tuning fork on a daily basis, giving myself Reiki, carrying out my TRE (trauma release exercises) and Virginia, as soon as I have finished writing my blog, I will roll out my yoga mat and practice at home.

I know that if I practice all the therapies I use regularly, I will be able to ‘ease the dis’ of my mind body and soul.
Remembering to enjoy the moment, absorb the sights, sounds, smells and feelings of this wonderful journey. Namaste xx

 

If you would like to read my previous blogs here they all are, if you have any questions or would like more information, please Contact me.

Gonging It!

Fibro or Flu?

The Power of TRE

The Dawn of a New Day

I am going to enjoy this!

The Power of saying NO

Please clink on the following links if you wish to find out more information on the Holistic Therapies I Blog about.

Sally Free – Tuning Forks  

Virginia Compton – Yoga

Jo Hamilton – TRE